Dear Apple Cheeks,

Dear Apple Cheeks #2,

Today is the day you turn two years old. Two whole years have passed since the day we met, but I will never, ever forget the first time I held you in my arms. I pulled you close against my chest, and my very first thought as I breathed you in was,"I really do get to keep her". You are special, little Addie. You came into this world with a story, and I will never stop telling it. You were born with a testimony of the amazing love and faithfulness of Jesus Christ, and I want you to grow up knowing how much your Heavenly Father loves you and our little family.

I was diagnosed early in my pregnancy with you. A blood clotting disorder, they said. But the only words my mind could register were the numbers spilling from the doctor's mouth: "an 80% chance you will have a miscarriage or a stillborn". Those words echoed through my mind with each breath I took. I began treatment immediately, which counteracted much of my disorder. Two shots every day, Heparin injections in my legs. Then, around 22 weeks, my doctor became concerned upon viewing my ultrasound. I was showing early warning signs of preterm labor. I would spend the remaining months of my pregnancy on bedrest, only allowed to get up to shower or microwave food. I received steroid injections to help your lungs develop quicker. Having been through this before, my heart prepared for the worst.

But something happened during the time that I was on bedrest. I prayed for you continually, read my Bible daily, and listened to praise and worship music on my laptop. I came closer to God. I began to trust Him, that He would pull me through whatever circumstances I was faced with. He knew how much I wanted you, but I tearfully told Him that even if you did not make it, I would not stop loving Him, but would remain faithful. Then one night I awoke from a vivid dream, in which my entire family was sitting on the front pews of our church. In the dream, I was standing at the pulpit, praising the Lord and telling the story of what He had done for me. And in my dreams, I saw your daddy on the front row, and he was holding you in His arms. I awoke with tears streaming down my face, and that is when I knew I had received a message. In the dark of my bedroom, all alone, He told me that you were going to be ok. You would be healthy, and I was going to get to keep you! But He also had a task for me, and that was for me to sing your story from the rooftops. He wanted me to do just exactly what I had done in my dreams that night.

You were one before I gathered up the courage to stand at that pulpit to obey what the Lord had told me to do. I was terrified. I sobbed as I told the story of you, Addison. My Addie Brooke, the little girl I layed in bed dreaming about for months. You are worth the hundreds of shots I had to take, the months of bedrest, the tears, the worry, and definitely worth the anxiety I felt while giving our testimony. It is all NOTHING to me, compared to the blessing that you are. I would do it all again thousands of times, just to have you here with me. I felt such a relief after sharing my testimony, knowing I had obeyed what God wanted me to do. But I do not think that it ended there. I believe that when presented with the opportunity, I should continue to share your story for all to hear. God kept the promise He made to me that night in my dreams, and He has given me the courage to keep mine :).

So, my sweet apple cheeks #2, my Addison Brooke, Addie Loo-Who....on this day, your second birthday, I want to tell you how much I love you, and how much joy you bring to all of our lives every second of every day. You are stubborn and strong-willed, yet have the most tender of hearts that will break at the slightest hint of a harsh word spoken to you. You are LOUD!!!! You have energy spilling from every cell of your body, but will always settle down and snuggle with me on the couch if I ask you to ;). You do not like to eat anything except blueberry pancakes, macaroni and cheese, and chicken nuggets...oh, and "choc-choc", hehe. You can count to fourteen, brush your own teeth, and repeat anything I say to you! Your latest phrases are "No, thanks", and "uh uh, mama...no way"!!! You will watch Minnie Mouse for hours, and cry if we can't find your "bwanket" :). You sing the "hot dog song", and love taking bubble baths in my big bathtub. You love to color, and to play with baby dolls and your new Mickey Mouse firetruck from Nana :). But your favorite thing to do???? Your favorite thing to do is go to church. You wake up some mornings saying, "I wanna go to church." You clap and sing, you lift your hands and praise the Lord...all without being prompted to do so. Coincidence?? I don't think so :). I think the Lord has some BIG things planned for your life, sweet baby. I can't wait to see what they are!!! HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Hugs & Kisses,
Mama

I stir the milk and strawberries into the flour, pour the batter into the little donut-shaped wells. And I giggle. This little yellow donut maker holds some of my favorite memories, and possibly one of the greatest life-lessons I have ever learned :). I close my eyes, the smell of fresh strawberry donuts filling the kitchen...and I remember.

It was September. The plans were all carefully layed out...we had been planning our anniversary camping trip for months. Our itinerary was decided on, the best route to the mountains in our camper was studied and chosen. Plenty of money was saved and tucked safely away, just waiting to be spent on the many adventures we had planned for the week. Excitement filled our home as the countdown for our yearly anniversary trek to the mountains began. But then something happened. My SUV started riding "funny". My husband took it to the dealership, where they ran tests to see what was wrong. The Navigator ended up getting a five THOUSAND dollar diagnosis of a bad suspension, and my dreams of the perfect anniversary trip went down the drain. There would be no trip that year, and my little family was heartbroken. We ended up getting a much better quote on repairing my vehicle, went to the state fair instead of the mountains, and our anniversary gift? Let's just say it wasn't what we had hoped for ;). I spotted the little donut maker on the shelf at Target a couple of days before our anniversary. It was cute, a happy, vintage shade of yellow, and it looked like fun. I remember half-laughing, half-crying as I plopped my new appliance on the conveyor belt in the check-out line. I looked at the cashier proudly, daring her to ask me why in the world I was buying a donut maker, of all things. The truth is, I didn't know why, except that it made me happy when I saw it, and it was only thirty dollars, HA!  I think I wanted her to ask me...I already had my little sob story planned out. Poor, pitiful me...

The first time I opened the donut maker was on our anniversary. Josh and I made every kind of donut we could think of that night, laughing as we went through the recipes, trying to figure them out together. Peach, chocloate-iced, powdered sugar, sprinkled donuts...we made them all! And then something wonderful happened. In the middle of our donut-making party...in the middle of the messy dining room table, sprinkles scattered everywhere, sticky icing coating little fingers, I saw it. I stepped outside for a moment, and I had a view very similar to the one in the photo above. Oh life, how beautiful you are! For just a second, I was an outsider looking in, and I saw the abundant blessings overflowing around that table. The love...SO much love!!! And I was overcome with guilt...how could I ever want anything more than this? Trips, money, expensive gifts, well they just don't compare to the blessing of these four souls, gathered around our sticky table, sharing laughter, love, and homemade donuts. I felt so grateful, and I knew it was an anniversary I would never forget.


Hugs,
Julie